Can I love you without loving the Cross?

I was sitting in the chapel, looking at Jesus in silence. I saw love, joy, and peace held together with the Cross. I asked Jesus, “Can I love you without loving the Cross?” I began to reflect on the love I have for Christ. I felt fear in my body as I realized that the more I love Christ, the more challenges, suffering, and pain I may have to endure. This demands many things, one of them being carrying the Cross. The inner desire for intimacy with Christ should not resist suffering.

I asked another question: “Can you separate me from the Cross?” This, I realized something: it is impossible. To follow Christ and truly be with Him, one must embrace the Cross. There, I began to reflect on my life. I asked myself: “What were the moments when I truly felt authentic joy, love, peace, and happiness?” And the answer came: When I began to love someone I never wanted to love—because by loving them, my mind is transformed from judgmental to loving—I forgave those who had hurt me. By forgiving, I found peace and let go of the pain. God is in forgiveness, and I felt that to encounter God, I must forgive others, and that is one of Jesus’ demands. Is it easy to forgive someone who has hurt you? It may not be easy, but yes, it is possible, and that is what the Cross means. And after accepting the Cross, you encounter Christ who is Love and Joy.

Upon reflection, I see that the moments of greatest joy in my life were never separated from pain and suffering. Some people correct you as if you mean nothing to them. Some criticize you as if they are perfect. Some friends come to you only when they need love, kindness, care, or support, or they come to you only when they are in need. Some judge you before to truly know yourself. For some, you are never enough, or they expect too much from you without giving anything in return. But these experiences are part of life. They become beautiful when we learn to accept them—as Christ accepted the Cross. Because after all the pain of not being enough for others, you realize that yes, you are everything for Christ. Because loving Him means letting go of ego; it is learning to accept others as a gift from God.

It is not easy to accept others with their different ideas, cultures, attitudes, thoughts, and personalities. This requires letting go of the pride of: “I am better than others.” Because when we let go of that pride, we begin to see others as a gift. And by accepting others as they are, we find a joy that money cannot buy.

SISTER ROSARIA 

Aldaia, Valencia, Spain