A glimpse of paradise at the Asian Continental Novitiate, Manila, Philippines

The deepest aspiration of a human being and the definitive happiness is to be in paradise (CCC No. 1024). As believers, we all long to be in that place someday. However, we sometimes hear that it begins as we live on earth; it starts here.

I want to reaffirm this after six years of living with the novices. As Mother Ascension said, “I never felt God as close as I am in the mountain.” In the same way, I can say, “I never felt God as close as when I am here at the ACN.”

Accompanying the novices, I not only helped them encounter Christ in their lives, but I too experienced a profound personal encounter with Him. In the Catechism of the Catholic Church, no. 1025 states that to live in heaven is to be with Christ. Each day at ACN, I felt called to ‘be with Christ.’ I am invited to live with the Lord and to seek holiness.

Life is far from perfect. Not every day unfolds joyfully or peacefully. Nevertheless, the mundane and the routine reveal themselves as extraordinary moments, imbuing each day with profound significance. Personal and communal prayers serve to reconnect us with the divine source. The stillness of solitary days compels us to delve deeper in pursuit of spiritual rejuvenation, much like a deer seeking fresh waters. Thus, my soul yearns for You, O God (Psalm 42). Above all, the daily Eucharist invites us to partake in the essence of Jesus through the individuals we encounter, particularly within the community and in the countenance of each novice I meet each day.

Confronted with their confusions and doubts, I often could not provide perfect answers. However, I aimed to encourage them to embrace themselves, to value their journey, and to search for the true treasure in life. The one and only treasure I wish for them is JESUS, the source of joy, and a holy life. Upon finding this treasure, like the Samaritan woman at the well, they are called to share their encounter with Jesus. (John. 4:28-30)

I felt impatient, frustrated, stressed,anxious, and angry at times, but I chose to go beyond and understand because generally, we belong to the millennial generation. I chose to forgive rather than to keep grudges. I prefer to let go of the things beyond my control. Sometimes, there was a denial and betrayal, but I chose to trust, love, and start all over again and again.

I was once a novice like them. Sometimes, I was afraid, I lied, I was lazy, I escaped, I was unfocused, forgetful, stubborn, and disobedient to my formators. Yet, one day I realized that I wanted to be a different person and to be committed to the life I have chosen to live. I took the step to change and grow. Above all, I count on the grace of God to change, grow, and become a better person despite my vulnerabilities.

I can’t say for certain of life after the novitiate. What is certain is that I might hear sayings like, “What did you teach them in the novitiate? Expecting change after the novitiate sounds impossible, but I am aware that if one of them is transformed, it is a reason to remain hopeful.

Looking at the global world, sometimes we feel hopeless and helpless, but I believe in the saying of Mo. Teresa of Calcutta: If you can help one person at a time, we start changing the world into a better place. Furthermore, Pope Francis reminds us: Hope does not disappoint(Rm . 5:5 )in this Jubilee Year of hope.

Moreover, in fulfilling His mission, He provides good people for us. The teamwork and the collaboration of the Formation Team were exceptional. I am encouraged by the examples of our dear saints Rose of Lima, Martin de Porres, and John Macias, who became friends without any conflict because they had the same vision. I am grateful to the formation team at ACN for keeping up the same vision. The vision of MDR, the vision of Jesus.

This experience is related to the Transfiguration story, in the Gospels of Mt.17:1-9, Mk . 9:2-10, Lk . 9:28-36. Jesus was transfigured; he was changed; his face shone like the sun, and his clothes became as white as light. We may never experience anything as powerful as the Transfiguration. But every day in countless and seemingly small ways, God does break into our world and our daily lives. Every time we experience a moment of peace, joy, reconciliation, or forgiveness, God is with us. Every time we reach out to help others is a moment of transfiguration, both for us and for those we help. Each time somebody shows concern and care for us is a moment when God reaches out to us.

After the experience of the transfiguration, Peter said, “ Lord, it is wonderful for us to be here.” They listen to the words from the clouds: “This is my Son, the beloved, listen to Him.”Yet Jesus told the apostles to go down from the mountain, and He said to them that the Son of Man is going to suffer at their hands. ( Mt. 17:12)

Indeed, the encounter with Jesus changed, renewed, and transformed my life. More so, I want to continue staying in this wonderful place, which I consider a “paradise.” However, I need to go back to the reality where the most needy are in need of guidance and light to walk in the path of Jesus.

The reality will be tough. When eating the “papaya leaves”, bitter for some, but it is a special dish for those who are used to the taste. The  dusty and rocky roads,the long walk and the climbing of the mountains, the heat of the sun are unbearable to some, but for sure, it is a golden opportunity to go and proclaim the Gospel. For this reason: “Woe to me if I do not preach the gospel.”

On September 9-13, 2024 during Pope Francis’ visit to Timor Leste the Pontiff said: the nation has “new challenges to face and new problems to solve. That is why I want to say: may the faith, which has enlightened and sustained you in the past, continue to inspire your present and future, particularly with principles, projects and choices in conformity with the Gospel.” He further commented: “Poverty, underemployment, crime, and emigration are all signs of the need for change and a commitment to working together for the common good”. In addition, Pope Leo XIV, in his document Dilexi Te, cited: “The poor are at the heart of the Church.”(Dilexi Te, 111). “In the poor, God continues to speak to us.” ( Dilexi Te, 16).

We are called to fulfil the Mission of Jesus wherever we are sent, but most especially to discover God’s voice and face in the poor. I pray and please, pray for me that this glimpse of paradise at ACN continue to inspire me to serve others with love and joy.

Thank you, dear novices batch 2019-2025, for allowing me to share your life stories and to journey with you. Your names are written in my heart. Pardon me, I need to leave too soon. My gratitude to Srs. Rosa Maria, Pushpa, and Tina, for being faithful companions in the journey. Your love and care will be forever cherished. I apologize for I am careless, thoughtless, and selfish at times. To the General Councils, Provincial Teams of San Luis Beltran Province, Reina de China Province, and Santa Maria Province, I am grateful for the trust and support to me. I am sorry for some failures and disrespectful attitudes along the way.

Ultimately, this is my desire for all members of MDR: to be the reason young people are inspired to live out their vocation to follow Jesus. Let us strive to be true sisters to one another in our communities, where there is acceptance and we feel safe to be at home, and  experience a sense of belonging to a family. Let us learn from the pandemic that we need each other, we belong to one home, one humanity.  Above all, to know that it is possible to live in paradise here on earth. It sounds heavenly, yet it is a reality lived here at ACN.

Our dear Father Founder Zubieta animates us to have courage! For the mission is great, and assures us that his spirit will always be with us.Adelante Misioneras!

Sr. Maria de Fatima Pui

Asian Continental Novitiate, Manila Philippines